Am I Really 30?????

So, my birthday was yesterday and I turned 30! Thirty, really??? I sure don't feel 30...I don't THINK I look 30...but, what does 30 look like???? Yes, my body has changed...my boobs aren't where they used to be, my butt isn't the size (or shape) it used to be, and my eyes keep getting worse, but with that said, I still can't believe I'm 30. It doesn't depress me at all, but it sure sounds weird. At least when I was 29, I could still talk about being in my 20s like 29 was right beside 21. Now, I am in a whole new category. I'll even have to check a different box for surveys! This is going to take some getting used to!

I've talked to relatives and they've said that their 30s were their favorite years. I sure hope I will be able to say the same. The past two days have been great. I look forward to seeing what the future will bring with this new title!

Update

Although I know I should be in be resting right now, I just can't seem to do that. I'm not sure the meds are working like they are suppose to...JoeDan says I'm bitchy...but that is pretty normal!! I feel like I could run a million miles right now and I am pretty sure these pills were suppose to help me relax and sleep...oh well! Pain meds have never worked right for me...I was a crazy woman when I got my wisdom teeth pulled!

Now for the update on how today went...My D&C was scheduled for 11:00 this morning. I was suppose to be there at 9:00 and get registered and all the paperwork done before surgery and of course I misunderstood where it was scheduled and went to outpatient surgery instead of ambulatory surgery and I wasn't on their list. By 9:20 and after walking to the complete other side of the hospital, I finally got registered and only had to wait about 15 minutes in the waiting room...thank goodness!! My nurses were great, although they couldn't get the IV in my first vein and had to do it a second time and it hurt like crazy. I thought all-in-all I did okay...until the Chaplin came in to talk to me. I have never wanted to hurt a holy person before today, but I came very close to killing this woman. She made me cry so much and all I could think was when is someone going to come in a save me from this crazy woman. She told me that I should have named the baby and I should have a funeral for it when I get home...don't I get to make those decisions and get to moarn in my own way??? She wanted to know all the details of both times...is it really necessary to bring that up right before I'm about to go in for this already tramatic experience??? Needless-to-say, all I could do was lay on the hospital bed and cry and I guess that was a sign to her to keep talking and tell me how much she is there for me...again I really thought I might kill her and if anyone heard what she was saying, they might have let me off scott free!!! Thankfully the nurses came in and had to put the IV in and saved me from this weirdo. I'm sure she probably thought I was an atheist or something, but at that point I really didn't care what she thought. I had already talked to God and he had comforted me...obviously I had to talk to him again after she left!! I told the nurses not to let her back in...and I sware it wasn't five minutes later that I heard the nurse on the other side of my curtain say, "Actually, she would rather not see you again. She's pretty emotional." I think that nurse should get a raise!

The surgery itself went really well and the doctor said that my body had already begun the process of detachment, so the surgery was not as extensive as it usually is. I was probably only in surgery for about 20 minutes or so. I went under and came out of anesthesia great.

Please know that your prayers are still needed as I know my physical and emotional state will be a rollercoaster for the next few days. I love you all and will talk to you soon. Thank you again for being in my life. You make it much easier to get through the tough times and much more fun during the good ones!

Sad News

I write this with a very heavy heart. I am very sad to tell you all that I found out yesterday that I lost the baby. I started bleeding yesterday afternoon when my mom and were out shopping in Hendersonville and I called Ashley and she met us and we went to Summit and she did an ultrasound to confirm what my body was already telling me. As some of you know, and I know others would not have since it wasn't public knowledge, this is actually my second miscarriage. I had a second ultrasound at the Medical Center here in Bowling Green to officially tell what Ashley already had and I am scheduled for a D&C on tomorrow (Monday) morning at 11:00. I am going to also have several tests to hopefully find some answers as to why I can so easily get pregnant (only took one month the first time and two months the second time) but not stay pregnant. These tests can't be run, though, for about 6 weeks because the pregnancy hormones must be completely out of my body before they can be run. Please pray that they find something through these tests to help JoeDan and I find some answers as to why we are going through this and how we can prevent it from happening (if that is possible) next time. Pray that it is something that is easily fixed and not something that is nonpreventable.

I am happy to say that our spirits are not as down as they were last time and that we truly feel that we will one day be the parents that we know we are meant to be, whether that be through biological or adopted children. I am so grateful that you all are in my life and your prayers are much appreciated. I am not in a state to want to talk right now, but did want my friends and family to know what was going on. Please, if you have told any friends, family, etc. tell them what is going on. This is not something I am trying to hide. I would much rather them hear this from you than to not know and run into me and congratulate me and/or JoeDan. I don't feel that we could handle that.

I love you all and will talk to you soon. In time, this too will pass and we will have wonderful things to look forward to again. We just need time to heal and talk to the doctors to see what our next step is...there has to be an answer! I just know there has to be!!!

Dr. Visit and update

Well, this visit was pretty uneventful. I just met with the doctor's assistant and got all my paperwork done and lots of blood drawn. My mother-in-law went with me since JoeDan has no clue about his family's health history. We were in and out in about 45 minutes. I had to weigh...not fun! I've already gained 6 pounds...this is not looking good! I guess I'm going to have to start exercising a lot more. I don't feel that I'm eating too unhealthy. No midnight runs for ice cream or anything like that. I really haven't changed my eating habits that much, except paying more attention to getting all my vitamins and calcium. Guess I'll just have to watch everything closely and make sure I am not one of those women that gains 70 pounds. I would die!

My next doctor's visit is Wednesday, April 23 (my last day in my 20s!). JoeDan will go to this visit with me. We should get to hear the heartbeat, which will be amazing! I am ready for an eventful visit that helps me to know that I'm really pregnant. Other than gaining weight, I don't really feel that different. Still no morning sickness, thank goodness! Most of my clothes haven't gotten tight...though some dress pants have, the lined ones that don't give any...I hate those pants right now...they are causing my work wardrobe to get really small! Thank goodness April has been declared "Jeans Month" at school. Teachers could donate $1 a day to wear jeans. I gave the full month's worth. I figured that would help me be able to wear regular clothes a little longer. I am going to go shopping with my mom for maternity clothes this weekend. It seems very strange! She says though that I need to have them in the closet and ready so I don't wake up one morning and my tummy has popped out over night and nothing fits. She says she can remember that happening to her and it was very depressing and frustrating. I definitely don't want to have to go through that.